Slaughtered Vomit Dolls (2006, Lucifer Valentine)

It comes off like a cheap music video for a cheesy EBM band, except there’s no music and it lasts 70 minutes. I really enjoyed the trailer but if you’ve seen that you’ve basically seen the whole movie. All the gore lacks impact because we are not led to care about any of the characters minutely, to the extent that we can’t even say the film has any characters except the attractive and brilliantly sleazy Ameara LaVey (who is not related to Anton) as a self loathing call girl. She spends the film saying things like ‘It costs a lot of money to fuck me. Do you have it? Yea I’m a pretty expensive whore.’ For me she was the only ok thing about the movie. Everyone has thrown up at some point in their life. It’s really not shocking or interesting to watch. There are copious amounts of nudity including a 5 minute scene of stripping by LaVey. There is a complete lack of ideas in this film. In a world of Saw and Final Destination the gore is really uncreative. Completely devoid of scares, the film is boring and occasionally gross but compared to 2 Girls one Cup, Goatsee, Tubgirl, BME video, Mr Hands etc its not even interestingly disgusting, except maybe the bit with a guy throwing up blood onto a head that’s had its top part sawed off, but even that was carried on for far too long. It will probably appeal to fans of August Underground and other such shit. Unfortunately there is a similarly themed sequel also starring LaVey, ReGOREgitated Sacrifice.
0/5